


Curiosity

by FrankieAlton



Series: Curiosity and Confusion [1]
Category: Hogan's Heroes
Genre: M/M, Male Homosexuality, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieAlton/pseuds/FrankieAlton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After learning that Klink had never kissed his childhood sweetheart, Hogan finds himself curious about Klink's interests.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curiosity

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the conversation Hogan has with Klink's old girlfriend at the end of the episode "Klink's Old Flame" I've always wondered why Hogan was curious about their past relationship, and this is my take on it.

Colonel Hogan replayed his last few words with Marlene Schneider over again in his mind as he lay in his bunk staring up at the ceiling.

_“Just out of curiosity, did Klink ever make it past a handshake with you?”_

_“Well, as a matter of fact, today was the first time he ever kissed me.”_

Klink had never kissed her. Never. She had been his old flame, the passionate love affair of his youth, and he had never even kissed her. Hogan had somehow known that from the beginning, but he had decided to ask Marlene Schneider just to confirm it. He had been curious about Klink for some time, and this was the perfect opportunity for him to glean a little information about the illustrious Iron Eagle’s past.

Maybe it didn’t mean anything. Perhaps Klink had been too timid or shy to make a move. Bravery was definitely not the first trait that came to mind when people thought of Colonel Wilhelm Klink. Perhaps he was reading far too much into Klink’s lack of success with women.

Or maybe Klink just wasn’t interested in that sort of thing.

That idea brought a slew of questions to Hogan’s mind; questions that he knew he was probably better off ignoring, yet he found himself returning to them over and over. Certainly Klink liked girls in that way. He chased the fraulines and barmaids when he went into town, just like any other soldier. However he was rarely very successful in catching any of them, and on the few occasions when he did it never seemed to last past the first date.

Hogan frowned slightly as he considered Klink’s history with romantic relationships, or rather lack thereof. The only woman who had displayed any interest in a long term relationship with Klink was Frau Linkmeyer, and he had run fast in the opposite direction. Well, Hogan couldn’t _really_ blame Klink for that, after all Burkhalter’s homely sister was hardly the makings of a warm and loving wife. Still, it’s not as if Klink would be the first person in history to marry for status or power if he took her up on her offer.

Hogan was quite curious about all of it, but he wondered whether or not it was okay for him to be so curious about it. Sometimes it borderlined on fascination, and he would find himself watching Klink, studying him, looking for subtle clues in his behavior to confirm or deny his nagging suspicions.

Hogan was quite aware that there were men out there who were attracted to other men. He could not afford to be naïve in his line of work.

 It was not as if he _approved_ of such behavior, but he was not strongly opposed to it either. Over the course of this war he had personally done plenty of things that he had been taught to believe were wrong. He had lied and cheated, stolen countless things from the Germans, committed adultery more times than he could recall. He had even killed on occasion, when the mission warranted it, and though he could tell himself it was all for the greater good, some part of him still felt that he might be damned. So who was he to judge other people when it came to their personal choices in behavior? As long as it was not harming anyone else, Hogan figured it was not really a big deal.

Still, his curiosity was getting the best of him. He needed to know something. He stood up from his bunk, deciding that he should pay a visit to Klink’s office.

He strolled across the compound, wondering what he could say that could even remotely touch on the subject.

_So Klink, I was just wondering, you wouldn’t happen to be a homosexual, would you?_ Hogan had to grin a little as the awkward conversation played out in his mind. Though he would never dare to actually say such a thing to the Kommandant, he imagined that Klink’s reaction would be priceless.

He knocked on the door to Klink’s office, but as usual he went ahead and opened it without waiting for a response.

Klink looked up from his paperwork with a scowl. “I do not have time for whatever silly you problem you have now, Colonel Hogan,” he said curtly, waving his hand dismissively.

“Oh I don’t have any problems, sir,” Hogan said. “Actually things are going quite well here, though we could do with a little less sawdust in the bread…”

“Hogan!” Klink exclaimed. “Do you really think I want to put up with this after I just lost that promotion?” He raised a hand to his head and rubbed his temple as if he had a headache.

“That was quite a loss,” Hogan said, trying his best to look sympathetic. “Of course, I can’t say that I’m too upset you have to stay here. I mean, who knows what kind of a monster they would have gotten to replace you? At least this means that Stalag 13 still has the most fair, yet firm, camp commandant in all of Germany.”

“That’s quite enough, Hogan,” Klink muttered miserably. Hogan actually felt strangely disappointed at Klink’s lack of response to his flattery. Normally the German officer soaked up the compliments like a sponge.

“Of course,” Hogan replied. “But look on the bright side. At least you got to relive some of the excitement of your youth.”

“How’s that?” Klink asked, sounding just a little confused.

Hogan grinned, having found his way to the subject. “I’m sure Marlene was just one of _many_ girls who fell prey to your charms. Wining, dining, dancing, steamy nights parked under the stars…”

“What _are_ you going on about?” Klink asked, this time sounding more annoyed than confused.

“Oh come on, sir. Don’t tell me that the two of you never did a little _parking_.” He raised his eyebrow suggestively at the last word.

“Hogan!” Klink bellowed, slamming his hand down on the desk. “What I did with her is none of your business!”

“Sorry,” Hogan muttered, trying his best to sound disappointed. “I was just hoping for a riveting romance story. You know I’ve been locked up in here for a while now, away from the charms of the fairer sex…”

“Hmph.” Klink scoffed, shaking his head. “Well I am sorry to disappoint you, but my story would not be very _riveting_. Unlike you hot-blooded Americans, we German men know how to engage in a little self-restraint and gentlemanly behavior.”

“So you didn’t even kiss her, huh?” Hogan said with a smirk.

Klink seemed slightly irritated by the question, but the irritation seemed almost like a cover for something else. Fear, perhaps? Hogan had caught a glimpse of something in the German’s expression that he could not quite read.

“Sorry, sir,” Hogan said, pretending to be apologetic, though he was not sure that Klink really bought it. “Besides, I’m sure a career officer such as yourself really has no time to be wasting on romance.”

Klink nodded just slightly. “You are correct. That is why I have never been married. My dedication to my career would be completely unfair to any potential wife.”

Hogan thought it sounded like Klink was trying to justify himself. He wondered if his career would be the only thing that would be unfair to any potential wife.

“And who really needs to deal with the hassles and headaches of dating? I’m sure the companionship of your fellow soldiers is far more satisfying.”

Klink drew in a sharp breath and narrowed his eyes. “Did you _want_ something, Colonel?” he asked firmly, his voice suddenly taking on a dark tone that Hogan had never heard before.

“Well I didn’t have anything specific,” Hogan replied hastily, somewhat taken aback by Klink’s sudden assertiveness.

“In that case, I have already told you that I do not have time for this. I have paperwork to do, so unless you have something urgent, you are dismissed.”

Hogan gave Klink one of his usual sloppy salutes before turning and strolling out of the office. For the first time since his arrival at Stalag 13 Hogan actually felt somewhat unnerved by the German officer. Something he had said had really gotten to Klink, and he wondered if that had confirmed his suspicions.

As he walked back to his barracks, he wondered why he was so curious about this all to begin with. However he quickly shook off that thought, deciding that he was better off not finding the answer to _that_ question.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been fascinated by the relationship between Klink and Hogan ever since I started watching this show as a teenager. (over 10 years ago now... man, I'm getting old...) Anyway, I've always wanted to write some slash for them, and this is my first attempt, even though it's not really that slashy. But we all have to start somewhere I guess...


End file.
